


The Goodbye Song

by cornflakes901



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Overdosing, Pre-Squip, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, jeremy's a strong boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 18:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16393058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornflakes901/pseuds/cornflakes901
Summary: “Let me go!” He screamed. “You don’t understand! He’s my best friend! Michael!”(Based on The Goodbye Song by Joe Iconis and George Salazar)





	The Goodbye Song

Jeremy couldn’t focus.    


He knew something was wrong. Just didn’t know what. The remote control seemed out of place in his hands. His eyes glanced at his phone from the TV screen, back to the TV, then to his phone again.

 

He stood up from his bed, not bothering to pause the game. Made his way downstairs. The keys were left forgotten on the kitchen table. They jingled as Jeremy silently gets to the garage, careful not to wake his father.    


Jeremy stopped as he sat in the car. Why was he up anyway? It was way past midnight; He should have been sleeping. He pushes the key into the ignition. Something inside him knew he couldn’t just stay.

 

The moon shone brightly as he backed out of the driveway, illuminating the houses and the road ahead of him. 

 

Familiar buildings passed by, but Jeremy can’t recognize any of them. His mind was occupied with thoughts of Michael. He seemed down that day, the usual glow he radiated fading when he saw him after school. Although Michael reassured him he was fine, just tired, Jeremy knew something was up. He decided it best to leave it alone. 

 

Jeremy cursed under his breath. He shouldn’t have left Michael alone. His foot pressed down harder on the gas pedal as his mind is filled with all kinds of crazy scenarios. The world passed by in a blur. He’s too distracted to hear a car honk at him when he swerves into Michael’s neighborhood.   

 

He thinks back to the times they were just little kids messing around, too hyper to focus on anyone or anything but themselves and their loved ones. All the adventures they had growing up together. The bad times, the good times, the times when nothing else mattered. One particular memory flashed before him. 

 

Michael rides his bike in circles around Jeremy. He’s small and smiling. His bike is covered in Pac-man stickers. Jeremy clutches the bike handles with sweaty hands and attempts to find balance on the vile thing. His friend lays his bike on the sidewalk and joins Jeremy. He holds his shoulders, lightly pushing the bike forward. 

 

“Don’t be scared. You’ll be fine,” Michael laughs.

 

“I’m not scared!” He protests.

 

Michael only smiles and pushes on. They made their way down the street, sunlight shining on their faces.   


————

 

The back door is left ajar.   


Jeremy’s eyes wildly search the backyard for…He still doesn’t know.    


Until.   


Jeremy rushes over to his friend laying on the wooden bench, faced up at the moon, hoodie pulled over his head. He crouches down next to him and gently shakes his shoulders.    


“Michael?” He whispers. “Michael, come on buddy. Let’s get you to bed.”    


Michael doesn’t budge.    


Shaky fingers pull the hood from his face. His headphones are placed over his ears, music blasting so loud, Jeremy can hear it from where he’s sitting. Bob Marley. Michael’s favorite. 

 

Michael’s face was warm with tears, Jeremy noted, as he searched for a pulse. He’s motionless at first. Speechless too. He wants to cry, scream, rip his hair out, but he just sat there, waiting for Michael to sit up. To open his eyes. Anything. 

 

He eventually wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist and dragged him to the car. A sob escaped him as soon as he set Michael down on the passenger seat only to be followed by more. He ran to his seat and slammed on the gas pedals, the car luckily still left on before he’d gotten out.

 

“Come on, Michael.” He muttered. “Stay with me. Just a few minutes.”

Jeremy bit his lip and hunched over the wheel. Michael was slipping away from him, and there was nothing Jeremy could do about it. He took a quick glance over. It was strange. Michael sat next to him, but he somehow… wasn’t there. 

 

He pulls into the hospital and launches himself out of the car. Bursts into the the building, alarming the other patients in the waiting room. The smell of hand sanitizer and medicine was overwhelming. 

 

He frantically stumbles over his words, begging anyone who was listening for help. 

 

The last time he had been in a hospital, he’d been saying goodbye to his all too pale and fragile mother. He ran outside, a nurse following, and bent over to vomit on the road.

 

The nurse helps him carry Michael into the building, but asks one of her coworkers to escort Jeremy outside. The people were terrified. Some had started to cry. 

 

A man steps in Jeremy’s way, cutting him off from Michael and the nurses. He spoke gently, as if Jeremy was a bomb, set to blow off any moment soon. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to—”

 

The man probably meant well, as Jeremy realized afterwards, but right now? Now, he needed to see his friend. 

 

“No.” He clenched his fists, trying to keep them from shaking. “I have to be there with him.”

 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you—”

 

His fist swung at the man’s face and skewed his nose, sending him stumbling backwards. He raised his hand to his face, blood now dripping from his nostrils. 

 

Jeremy shoved him out of the way. Followed the direction the nurses had left with Michael. 

 

A hand grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards. Jeremy turned back, struggling to free himself of the hand’s grasp. It was a different man this time, much taller and stronger than the first. Jeremy kicked, punched, and screamed, but he wouldn’t let go.

 

“Let me go!” He screamed. “You don’t understand! He’s my best friend! Michael!” 

 

Nurses held Jeremy down. He refused to give up. Tears streamed down his face as he fought back. Voices yell for backup. Jeremy could only squirm as they pulled him down the hall. 

 

He just needed to see him. Know that Michael was okay. Jeremy went limp as he finally tired himself out. The group leads him out the door. One of them stayed with him, remaining silent as Jeremy hugged his knees to his chest on the sidewalk, quietly praying for Michael to get out of this alive.

 

They managed to get Michael’s parents’ numbers and dial them to come over. Jeremy didn’t dare give them his father’s phone number. He’d stay with Michael, no matter how long it’d take. 

 

Jeremy waited for hours. He sat outside in the cold night air and watched the sun rise as he rocked himself back and forth. Michael’s mothers arrive quickly and sprint past Jeremy to check on their son. They don’t come back for a while. 

 

Someone steps out and lets him come inside. The nurse doesn’t smile. Jeremy stands. 

 

They mount the elevator and walk to Michael’s room. The hall seems to stretch for miles, until Jeremy is sure they were walking all the way to the moon. As they continued further, Jeremy fought the urge to run back to where they came. 

 

The nurse comes to an abrupt stop and allows Jeremy into the room. One of Michael’s mothers shakes violently in the other’s arms next to his bed. 

 

Jeremy falls onto Michael’s bed side. Dried vomit stained his clothes, his face a sickly pale color. He wiped his hair off his cold forehead and stares at him for a while. 

 

“Michael.” He takes a shaky breath. “Michael, please wake up. Please, please, please.”

 

Michael doesn’t breath. Jeremy gets to his feet and wraps his arm around Michael’s chest. He sobs into his shoulder. 

 

“I’m so sorry.” 

 

Jeremy repeats it over and over again until it ultimately has no meaning, until he’s not thinking, until he’s choking on his words. 

 

He looks back down at Michael. His nose runs furiously. 

 

“Hey Michael? If you can hear me, I’m right here. And I miss you.” His voice cracked. “A lot.”

 

He hums a tune to Michael’s lifeless body and holds him tighter. He falls asleep next to his friend, dreaming of the time with him he’d taken for granted. 

 

And although he wouldn’t know it, Michael watched him from the door, wishing more than anything for a chance to say goodbye. Instead, he stayed next to Jeremy. Desperate to hold him and tell him everything would be fine. He stayed until Jeremy learned to accept the fact that his Player one wasn’t coming back. Waited until the end of Jeremy’s days, when they’d finally be reunited once again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucks,,,  
> YEAH UH  
> I love my dead gay son <3


End file.
